The Whammy thinks he's great, the Whammy thinks he's nice,
but inside that body, he's got a heart of ice.
---Terry & Kevin Seagal, Carmel, IN


In some old dim well-hidden place, those little Whammys dwell,
Some people call them evil imps, we know them all too well.
Their first cousin is the Gremlin, well-known in World War Two.
Just like those other little guys, the Whammy's out for you.
If you should ever plan to compete on Press Your Luck,
Remember this dear hopeful one- the Whammy you will buck.
He will eat you up and spit you out, and he'll do it with a smirk.
But lest you hold a human grudge, he's doing his Whammy work.
---Richard J. Vaul, Jr., Phoenix, AZ


Weren't the Academy Awards great, my dear?
Ah yes, but I'll tell you what they need next year.
To offer an award for greed and theft.
For before you know it he's come and left.
Why, it's your precious earnings this guy's after.
With his greedy grin and his spiteful laughter.
So ay I have the envelope please?
For I'm sure the winner wholeheartedly agrees.
That none is more deserving than that money-grabbing Wammy.
And for all his cruelty, give him a Grammy.
---Taylor Finch, Santa Barbara, CA


(To the tune of "Clementine")
Oh my Whammy, Oh my Whammy, Oh my Whammy-Whammy-Woo.
Please don't take my money, honey, It'll leave me feeling blue.
---Penny, Santa Rosa, CA


The Whammy and Peter, they're your hosts for the day.
One welcomes you, the other sends you away.
---JoAnne Moore, Belfast, ME


Whammy, Whammy, you think it's fun,
To take away what others have won.
You make the contestants jump and shout,
Just so you can wipe them out.
If I ever come on your show, there's one thing that you should know.
You stay away, let me be,
Because my best friend is Mister T.
---Terry Fitzhugh, Belmont, OH


If the Whammy should dare appear,
With hat in hand and smile so dear,
I won't be cruel, I won't be hard,
I'll just tear up his credit card!
---Phil Hawkins, Monticello, AR


Being a Whammy is the best.
He can do more than all the rest.
He can do Boy George & Michael Jackson, too.
And can breakdance better than most of you.
He's rich, but Whammys are no slobs.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, Whammys are proud of their jobs.
---William Washington, Ivanhoe, VA

Plus four more by yours truly:

That money-grubbing Whammy;

loathed from Seattle to Miami.

We hate them 'cause they're thieves, a fact that's on the books.

But those ego-ridden Whammys think we're jealous of their looks.

If someday you meet the Whammy,
Your hands just might get all clammy.
He'll take away every last buck,
The very thought makes you upchuck.
But if he robs you of all your dollars,
There will be no need for screams and hollers,
Just sit back, relax, and take a breath,
Wait for him in the alley, jump out and scare him to death.

He's resented everywhere, the little scarlet blob.
But don't be mad, he's just doing his job.
He awaits on the game board, that hardly seems seedy.
Getting ready for contestants to get a little greedy.
Stop on him and he'll steal your cash,
And he's sure to do it with hype and flash.
But he's not mean, not really laughing at anyone,
he just smiles since he completed a job well done.

Other game shows have Stingers, other game shows have Dollar Bills.
Other game shows have Lightning, Dragons, and Devils.
But above all others, above the Bandits and the Bust card,
There's the Whammy taking your cash and trip to Scotland Yard.
The only game show villain worthy of wearing a hero's cape.
Stoppers are bad but Whammys drive you ape.
So keep your Klunks and Zonks and Stop Cards, and keep your Bankrupt space,
I prefer the Whammy, the game show villain ace!